


Lost In Thoughts All Alone

by sportsudaaa



Series: Haikyuu!! Oneshots [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I cried while writing this, Sort Of, angsty angst, im not sorry, no beta we die like daichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sportsudaaa/pseuds/sportsudaaa
Summary: The barista finishes his drink and grabs his muffin from the display case, placing it in a bag. He walks over and hands him things with a big smile, taking one look at the flowers and back up to Kageyama. “Special day?”Kageyama smiles a little smile, and says, “Something like that.”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Haikyuu!! Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674409
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	Lost In Thoughts All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning: i cried while i wrote this (if the tags didnt say it enough)
> 
> Also, there are some tags i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil the story. 
> 
> Enjoy

College life isn't what everyone made it out to be. At least, not for Kageyama. People talked about parties, love, and deep friendships. He thought it would be where you finally became an adult (which is true, but adult life wasn't all that great - tiring, in fact), experienced new things (true too, but not as magnificently as in movies), and where you followed your dream. 

Turns out, you change your mind and things don't go as planned.

Instead, you get hour and a half long lectures at 8:00 in the morning about biology, a subject Kageyama never cared for and wouldn't care for now. He sighed for about the hundredth time and propped his chin up on his head. He barely got any sleep last night, so he was more tired than he should have been. At least it was almost over. He was getting tired of the teacher droning on about photosynthesis and some other plant stuff. 

He reached over to his bag next to him and pulled out his phone, hiding it under the table so the professor wouldn't see. 9:25. Five more minutes until he can leave this place, go get some coffee and pick up something on the way to his destination.

Today was a very important day, after all.

He was broken out of his thoughts when the professor finally said, “Alright, I guess that's it for today,” and started explaining the assignment for the week (No one was listening, though. They knew the assignment would be online). He saw the students around him gathering up their stuff and took that as a cue that he should do the same.

As he’s gathering the last of his papers, he hears a ding from his phone. He picks it up to see who it was from, only to get distracted by his lock screen. It was a picture Hinata had snuck of him when he wasn't paying attention. He was smiling and petting a cat (a major achievement for him, mind you) in the background, with Hinata holding up a peace-sign and smiling with his eyes closed. Hinata’s smile in that photo could rival the sun. It was one of the rare times a cat let him pet it.

He looked away from Hinata’s smiling face and read the message he had received. It was from Sugawara on the Karasuno group chat they made when he was in his first year at the school. 

_ Suga: You still coming, Kageyama? _

Kageyama smiled. Of course he was. He wouldn't miss this day even if the world was ending. He said so to the group chat.

_ Kageyama: Of course. _

He smiled as the others started texting, Suga saying that he was glad, Noya and Tanaka sending some random memes, and Daichi saying that they will see him there. He deposited his phone in one of the back pockets of his pants and grabbed his headphones, connecting them to his phone and letting his playlist flow on shuffle, before slinging his backpack over his shoulder and walking out of the lecture room.

He has somewhere to be, but he needs to make a few stops before he arrives.

\---

It's a few minutes walk after a two hour train ride from Tokyo before he is pushing open the door to his first stop, a quaint flower shop owned by an acquaintance of his from highschool. As he walks in he’s greeted by the smell of flowers and is immediately put at ease. Flowers and plants are everywhere, displays of bouquets and flower pots scattered in the tiny store, shelves of succulents spotted here and there between them. 

He walks over to the counter to order his arrangement, the shop owner, a tall man with neatly kept light brown hair and swishy bangs with a soft-looking and boyish appearance, spotting him after a few seconds of him standing there awkwardly. The man gives him a soft smile.

“What can I do for you?”

Kageyama swallows and begins to list off the flowers he wants in his arrangement: lilies, pink carnations, crimson and white roses, and pink and white orchids. The florist, after hearing the flowers, gives him a rueful smile and says, “I’ll have that out for you in a moment,” before heading out behind the counter among the plants in his shop.

Kageyama muttered a thanks before heading over to a seating area and settling on a couch, picking up the closest magazine. Coincidentally, it was a local sports magazine, an addition from when he and Karasuno went to nationals for the first time since the Tiny Giant was part of the team. He flipped through it, each page talking about the top spikers or setters in the prefecture, only stopping to rest on one page. The page held a flyer from after they defeated Shiratorizawa and were enroute to nationals. It was one designed by Yachi, with a picture of Hinata in the air preparing to slam the ball down onto the enemy’s court and a caption saying “Karasuno Takes Flight Again!” and “Crows Fly to Nationals!”. He remembered the feeling he had after the last point was scored. Something like that may never happen again, that feeling may never come again, but at the moment it was the best feeling in the world. 

Hinata, in that moment in the picture, frozen in time, really looked like the Tiny Giant. He always talked of becoming the Tiny Giant one day, and at times he mentioned it so much that Kageyama wanted to tape his mouth shut. He really talked too much. But other times it was endearing, and the way his eyes sparkled made you want to be the person he was talking about, the one he admired and looked up to and the one that put the whole damn sun in his eyes. Needless to say, Kageyama was jealous at times. He would give anything to see that light once more. 

Someone clears their throat and he looks up to see that the store owner is standing in front of him, arrangement in his hands. Kageyama placed the magazine down gently where it had been before and stood up to fish out some cash to pay the man. As he was fumbling for his wallet, a hand landed on his shoulder. He stopped rifling through his bag and looked up to see the man giving him a calm look. 

Kageyama shook his head and gave him a tiny smile, taking the bouquet from his hands. He was too kind.

“Thank you, Yahaba. I owe you one,” he said as he made his way to the door. And he really did. Being a small business owner, they need all the money they can get. Especially a flower shop, though his arrangements are pretty famous around town. He turned and bowed towards the man at the door for good measure.

Seeing one of his acquaintances made him wonder what he would do after he got as far as he could go in volleyball. He hadn't thought of it much, being concerned with practice and matches and school the whole time. Granted, he didn't have to think about it just yet. He knows he’s going to go far with his skill in volleyball (not to toot his own horn, or anything) so he still has a while until he thinks about what he's going to major in. 

Guess he’ll wait for now. Volleyball is his life, at the moment.

He continues down the sidewalk, nearing a local coffee shop he stopped by a few times after school. The smell of coffee and baked goods wafts from the shop and yawns, remembering suddenly that he didn't have breakfast. A feeling of fatigue falls over him.

_ I still have time. Maybe I should go in and grab something.  _ That maybe wasn't relevant, because he was already walking towards the door when he asked himself. Hunger and sleepiness is overpowering, apparently. He pushes open the door, the scent of coffee now a little overpowering as cool air blasts through. Kageyama welcomes it, though.

He drifts over to the counter, tiredly ordering a blueberry muffin and a tall latte, with whole milk (he still hasn't gotten over his obsession with milk - Hinata would mock him for it all the time in highschool), and making his way over to the pick-up counter. He watches as the barista makes his drink and wonders if he should attempt making his own latte. The barista makes it seem easy enough, as they go through the motions as if they had done it for years. They probably have.

On second thought, maybe he won't become a barista. He wouldn't have the patience. Instead he takes a moment trying to imagine Hinata making drinks, but fails miserably. If he wouldn't have enough patience to learn how to make the drinks, then Hinata  _ definitely  _ wouldn’t. He would probably spill the coffee all over himself and make a huge mess. He smiles and clutches the bouquet closer, careful not to crush the delicate flowers. 

The barista finishes his drink and grabs his muffin from the display case, placing it in a bag. He walks over and hands him things with a big smile, taking one look at the flowers and back up to Kageyama. “Special day?”

Kageyama smiles a little smile, and says, “Something like that.”

The barista doesn't ask any more, and instead thanks him for coming by the shop. Kageyama lifts a hand in a wave and nods, drink and food in hand as he walks to the door. It  _ is _ a special day, in a way. 

\---

He sighs as he sits down on a bench in a park nearby the coffee shop. It's a calm place, where he can sip his coffee and enjoy the scenery. He sets the bouquet down on the bench beside him, propped up against his thigh so that he eat his muffin easily. 

Looking around, a sense of nostalgia wash over him. The placement of the swing set and the slide and merry-go-round is familiar, making him feel all soft and fuzzy inside. It was the park he and Hinata visited frequently, where they would bump a volleyball around after school when they didn't have afternoon practice. Kids ran around and chased each other, sliding down the slide, swinging on the swings, spinning on the merry-go-round, laughing, playing, having fun. 

He missed being able to hang out with Hinata here. Looking out at the playground equipment brought back so many memories, so many feelings and experiences. He remembered that they would sit on the swings and talk and argue for hours if they were too tired to play volleyball (they usually ended up talking about volleyball anyway). He sips on his coffee and thinks of the other memories he made here.

He remembered the slide, where Hinata thought it was a good idea to see if he could spike a ball from up there and ended up falling and spraining his ankle. He said he was fine, though Kageyama could see the pain he was in. He ended up sweeping him off his feet and carrying him all the way home bridal style, both blushing profusely the entire way. Hinata’s mom tried not to laugh (her son was hurt, after all) but seeing their expressions she couldn't help but chuckle. 

He remembered the merry-go-round, where he would spin Hinata so fast that the boy was squealing and holding on for dear life, saying, “I’m gonna fall!” or “I’m gonna be sick!” It was hilarious when he would get off afterwards and stumble around, so dizzy that he couldn't stand up straight. One time he stumbled right into Kageyama’s chest, effectively knocking them both over. It's fair to say that they both couldn't look at each other for more than five seconds on the walk home that day.

And most importantly, the very bench he was sitting on. He remembered the conversations and snacks they shared. And the very first kiss they shared. That was one of his fondest memories still on this day.

He went to take another sip of his coffee, only to find it empty. He sighs, devours his muffin, and stands up to throw out his trash, making sure to grab his bouquet so it doesn't get stolen (that probably wouldn't happen, but just to be sure). He clutches the bouquet against his chest and takes one last look out at the park before continuing down the sidewalk.

\---

He stops in front of the school and stares at it in a daze. It was the place where he found a team, a family, that accepted him and his stubbornness and ‘Kingness’. He made so many memories here, both good and bad and some in between. He misses it so much.

\---

The sun was low in the sky after he finally arrived at his destination, the quiet suffocating as he made his way towards a crowd of people, who were waiting for him in front of a cemetery. A silver-haired man turned upon his arrival and stepped towards him, drawing him into a tentative hug, careful not to crush his flowers. The others turned and watched, waiting for the silver-haired man to pull away before stepping towards him one by one. It was the whole Karasuno team, everyone who was there in his first year. Everyone took turns hugging him, from Tanaka and Noya crushing him in a bear hug (Suga and Daichi had to yank them back a bit, making sure they didn't crush his flowers. They had the dignity to look ashamed afterwards) to a side-hug from Tsukishima, which was unaccepted. Everyone made sure to give him a hug.

All except one. The one he wanted it from the most. 

He walked along a gravel path, the group of men following not far behind. He kneeled down in front of a small stone grave, green grass surrounding it making it look so happy yet depressing at the same time. It was almost like he was keeping the grass alive with his spirit.

He kneeled down and placed the flowers down in front of the stone, soft sobs escaping him as he looked down at the name of the person he needed most.

\---

_ He still remembered that fateful day. It haunted his dreams and filled his thoughts, keeping him up at night. He still remembers the texts and missed calls from his friends. _

_ He was watching TV when he got a text from Tanaka telling him not to turn on the news. He thought it was reverse psychology or sarcasm, and something good was on. He picked up the remote and changed it to the news channel, a small smile on his face as he wondered what was going on, oblivious to the text messages beginning to flood onto his phone. _

_ His eyes widen as he reads the headline: _ __  
  


_ “Devastating car crash: 1 dead and 3 injured” _

_ The lady starts explaining the crash. “A car carrying players belonging to the MSBY Black Jackals volleyball team was hit by an out of control truck, killing one player by the name of…” _

_ He had stopped listening by then. He was frantically searching through his contacts until he found “Shoyo <3” and hit call. It rang until it went to voicemail. He called again. And again and again, and again, growing more and more frantic each time he hit call. He didn't know when he had started sobbing, tears were dripping down his face as he hit dial. _

_ “Why won't you pick up? Why?” he yelled.  _

_ In the background, an image of Hinata Shoyo is being displayed on the TV. _

_ “Pick up!” _

_ More messages appeared, his friends and family asking if he was okay, if he heard what happened, telling him to turn on the news. _

_ “Pick up, goddamnit!” _

_ But he didn't pick up. _

_ He collapsed onto the floor, dropping his phone in the process, feeling utterly alone. _

**Author's Note:**

> gonna go hide in a hole now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
> 
> also for anyone who wanted to know:  
> \- lilies (restored innocence of the soul departed)  
> \- pink carnations (remembrance)  
> \- crimson and white roses (c: grief and sorrow, w: reverence, innocence and youthfulness)  
> \- pink and white orchids (sympathy and typically represent eternal love)
> 
> lemme know if i got any wrong! I just looked these up on the interweb


End file.
